introvert vs. extrovert

[Song] Lucky (from MTB4) - Pushing Beauty

Webster's Dictionary

introvert

Noun

1. (psychology) a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts.

extrovert

Noun

1. (psychology) a person concerned more with practical realities than with inner thoughts and feelings.

http://www.dictionary.com

introvert

noun
1. a shy person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings (opposed to extrovert).
3. Zoology. a part that is or can be introverted.
–adjective
4. Psychology. marked by introversion.
–verb (used with object)
5. to turn inward: to introvert one's anger.
6. Psychology. to direct (the mind, one's interest, etc.) partly to things within the self.
7. Anatomy, Zoology. to turn (a hollow, cylindrical structure) in on itself; invaginate.

extrovert

–noun
1. an outgoing, gregarious person.
2. Psychology. a person characterized by extroversion; a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment (opposed to introvert).
–adjective
3. Also, ex·tro·vert·ed. Psychology. marked by extroversion.
–verb (used with object)
4. Psychology. to direct (the mind, one's interest, etc.) outward or to things outside the self.

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I believe i'm a mix of both.

I've always been an extrovert. I always take peoples energy and use it to my advantage. Making not only myself happy but, hopefully making the people around me happier as well. I've always been quite sociable and i love the act of interacting with people; it's just in my nature. Many may agree some may not, but that judgment would be based on a majority of perceptions and mentalities.

However, this post is more related to the issues that have been on my mind recently.

Recently, i've been very introvert. I always have been. I like to spend quite times, alone and in private. Perhaps that's the reason i choose to live alone and at times just stay home and relax without disturbance. I believe this state of extreme introverting is the cause of my insomnia. I don't say it, but alot of things are bothering me and are getting on my nerves. It's nothing with the ppl around me, or the things i do on a daily basis. It's more to the past, holding on to something i wanna let go. There are many dark secrets that many don't know, and it will probably stay like that for eternity. I always tell myself over and over:

"never regret your past and look back. Look forward to what i gain for my future."

and

"Take life 1 mile a day, and never think about tmr, as life is too short."

Initially i thought i was just suffering from some kind of medical concern, but after some deep soul searching and thinking, i realized that all the problems lie within myself. There are things that i guess i will never be able to let go, which is normal, but i just need to stay strong and positive and continue my journey of life. This was the path that I chose, the future i'm making for myself and the way i see it is i'm doing the best for myself, my future, my career and my future family. This may sound like i'm a conceded motherfucker, but it's the truth, we all want the best for ourselves and we all do what we do for ourselves. No one can steer us wrong, unless we want them to.

So, you may think i'm a hypocrite, cuz i'm contradicting my values and beliefs. But it's in human nature to have emotional feelings and attachment. These values and beliefs have helped me far beyond your imagination, so what's a little stress and insomnia once and awhile. If i go through a phase 2 to 3 times a year, at least for the rest of the time i'm happy and stress-free.

Now, that i have these issues and problems stated, i feel better. I let myself loose, think about the good and bad times of my past. It not only leavened a whole lot of stress but it made me feel good. Knowing that i control my feelings and thoughts and resolving my personal issues alone, makes me not only feel a sense of accomplishment but it makes me feel stronger and more independent.

Thx for reading this long and tedious post. Sorry if i have bored you. (That's if you've actually took the time out to read it or not lol)

Take care, Peace!