talk?

since monday, i've been yearning to talk to someone. I just needed someone to talk to..to get my mind off things, ya know?

ever since i've came to singapore, i never really 'talk' to anyone. Liang is probably the only person i'm comfortable talking about issues and problems with, but i'm still holding back. I just can't find anyone to hold a decent conversation with. Someone that can relate to me and understand what i'm saying. I miss the days when maggie, stella, wanda, ken, karman and vivian were just a phone call or a drive away.

Is it because many of my friends now didn't come from the same background/situation/conditions as i did? Growing up in an environment much different then theirs?

In a way, i think this is one of the reasons. I know their are some people willing to listen, but can they really help me? Can they relate my issues and problems to their lives? Most likely not. I don't want to swarm them with problems they can't help me solve. Many people come to me for problem solving and i can help because i can relate. I've seen much things from the streets of toronto and experienced, not through just myself but my friends as well, many valuable and life learnt teachings. And i love sharing these stories, theories and teachings with people. It's a great way to communicate and learn from each other!

I'm not trying to get all cocky and shit but it's the truth.

All i want is someone that i'm able to call anytime of the day, cuss, bitch and rant to. If that's not possible, then just someone to talk and joke with - to pass time. I mean there are some that i can talk to and laugh with over the phone, but how many are willing to talk for an hour or 2 or 3 or 4? how many can withstand it? how many are willing to answer a phone call at 4am?

I know i may seem selfish by wanting this and that, but isn't everyone entitled to 'want' something and yearn for something? Am i not allowed to have a friend around the corner to hear me out and just stick by me and listen without saying a word til i'm done?

There are so many people on this planet and it just seems that i can never really find the right one. Why is this so? I mean i've got great friends who are always there, but i just need 1 friend to jump the next level with me. I'm not saying the people around me are not worthy of this or anything, i'm just saying that i haven't found the right one yet - the one that i'm utterly comfortable with.

Many of us laugh and joke but how many of us are willing to open up?

It's like the first day of school in shatec in 2005. Many were unwilling to go out and chill after the first day of meeting. However my first day in high school, our whole class hung out at the arcade after school and just fucked around til the evening. I guess this is an example of cultural differences. This is also a great way to portray, how many of us are willing to open ourselves up when we just met someone and showing the eagerness to become friends or acquaintances.

The western mindset and culture VS. The asian mindset and culture

Both cultures have their pros and cons. So i'm not trying to say that westerns are better than asians or vice-versa!

It's with that said that i may find it difficult to open to some because of cultural reasons, living conditions and background. Although my skin is yellow, my heart is white and this is what really makes a difference.

I'm out peace!

(i hope i didn't offend anyone or anything and if i did, don't take it to heart plz)