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sat: went to amanda and amy's b-day party @ superstar! i drank some beer, chivas and tequila...i was on the verge of getting high BUT i puked and i puked ALOT!!! 2 times when i reached home and 3 times when i woke up! i don't know why i would puke, it was just disgusting! i didn't puke any food or anything..it was pure brown water..i think it was my stomach acids or something! maybe i shouldn't have drank so much the whole week...who knows!

anyhoo...amy and amanda: hope u had a great b-day...sorry for leaving so early...hope it won't happen again...lol!

sun: went to watch Over The Hedge w/ liang! it's a pretty funny movie..i hate paying for cartoons but there wasn't really anything to watch but the movie wasn't so bad so i'm not angry haha! then liang came to my house to stay...we watched 3 ninjas and monster in law dvds hee...

*topic of the day* HOME HOME HOME HOME!!!!

just wanna say thx to someone -- STELLA!!! i HATE U! hahaha just kidding! u know i love u w/ all my heart and soul!

here's the case...i just visited stella's blog and i saw a photo that i didn't expect to see...


immediately after i saw this pic, tears came to my eyes..! 7 of the guys in that pic are my boys (there's 8 but i don't know 1 of them haha)...we've been through thick and thin together! when i saw this pic..my heart started to get mooshy, my hands are literally trembling when i type and memories just keep flashing back and forth in my head! i can't take it..seeing this pic makes me want to drop the 1yr+ i've spent in school and just go home and chill w/ my boys/friends! i hate pretending to be strong when i'm not, i hate being alone when i choose to and most importantly i hate the fact that i've run away from something i didn't want to happen! the only reason i've been able to stay strong in singapore, alone and scared, is that i want to accomplish something! i want a diploma and maybe a degree after! does this make me strong? does this show courage and strength? HELP ME!!! i'm so lost right now, this moment in time this very second! i just wanna hop on a plane home, land and get a beer w/ my friends in toronto! FUCK! FUCK FUCK!
i guess i'm just being stupid again...i need a slap in the face to wake me up! or maybe i should just sleep away the thoughts i have in my head right now!

...i'll be okay...hopefully...just need sometime to cool down and relax!
sorry stella..it's not ur fault...lol...i'm just thinking too much, hey it's what i do best right?
peace!