shop

let's see...

me, liang, thomas and elliott followed alan shopping ytd! he spent like 400 bux...rich bitch! lol! after we went to Petals to grab dinner....mmm...it was oh so good! i had the lamb chops, which were so good with the mint sauce...DELICIOUS!!

well, on a more serious note...

i've noticed that relationships have started to sprung up! congrats to everyone for finding someone! i've gotta stop thinking about trying to find someone, and just let things flo but i just can't help to think that, no one wants me! seriously speaking, i've looked into the fucking mirror, i've asked myself over and over what traits i have and what can i offer besides my heart and soul!

i have nothing..no looks, no money and well to some, my personality may not appeal to them. seriously though, it seems so hard to just find a female half to cherish time with! i wanna be able to look at a sunrise/sunset while holding to someone, hold hands while walking on the beach, surprise her with gifts just to see them smile...and so much more! i know i'm stupid for thinking about things like this..makes me seem so desperate, though some parts of me may be, but most it is just lusting to feel love. as an only child, basically growing up on the streets, with parents that left me alone during my whole childhood, i've never felt like i belonged...though i always put on a smile trying to make things look bright...i'm probably one of the saddest souls around!

I love the way love works...i love the way chemistry works, in the means of love. The trail to romance is so appealing. i wanna be able to experience what people, madly in love, experience! feel what they do, do what they do, and well just learn from them! i've discovered that, looking at a young or old couple, that i will picture myself with someone like that and pretend that i'm doing what they are. i know it may seem a bit crazy. ..your probably thinking, what's going on in this guys head...does he need a doc? no worries, it's just like reading a book or watching a romantic movie...u tend to place yourself in the characters shoes, even though u may not realize it but sub-consiously, you would! try it next time!

i know growing up in a western lifestyle has made my mindset different then others, here in singapore. I'm not on the verge to change myself for people! i like the way i think, talk and do things! i'm not gonna change myself for no one...ever! and if i'm gonna be single for the rest of myself because of it, then so be it! i may not appeal to be handsome, but hopefully someone can look past that and look at what's going on in the inside, rather then just judging me on a first glance basis!

it's tiring thinking about someone u like and it's tiring to just get them to notice you! i've been trying...really...but trying to juggle my time and projects, is like trying to fly without wings! she doesn't even know how i feel, maybe cuz we don't know each other well, and haven't spent any time together...i know this is my fault and i shouldn't be blabbing about it...but she did seem interested to get to know me...though if she was really interested she would have tried to make an effort too...so i guess overall, we both have our things to work on!

if u reached down this far...congrats! i know it was a long post and thx for taking the time to actually read my post... i'm tired and this corona is getting tapped out! so i'm headed to the fridge to get another then i'm off to bed! peace! take care!